An Undignified Quarrel
by Huntress of the stars
Summary: It's my first shot at a short LOTR comedy... Arwen and Eowyn battle it out, in quite an undignified way, to prove Aragorn's affections towards one or the other... please R&R! I really need advice on this!


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Lord of the Rings, the actors (though I wish I did) or the merchandize... there. Happy?  
  
Hi to all those I know, and Hi to all those I don't. I hope you enjoy this story...  
  
It's a comedy; inspired by something Viggo said in an interview... it's a comedy... but not really as funny as I wanted it to be. So you can laugh. If you don't feel like laughing, don't.  
  
And now I not so proudly present...  
  
**_An Undignified Quarrel_**  
  
**A short comedy for Lord of the Rings lovers.**  
  
Arwen stood by the railing of the tallest tower in all of Gondor, gazing at the beautiful sunset. It was just another sunset for the land, but what made this one particularly beautiful and enjoyable was Aragorn. The king of Gondor stood right beside her, gazing at the sunset wearily.  
  
It was the night of the Evenstar.

* * *

What the unsuspecting lovers did not notice was a pair of eyes, their owner lurking in the shadows behind the nearest corner. They were envious eyes; their glare focused on the queen. Malice and deep hatred coursed through that gaze.  
  
But as the sunset ended and night fell, the eyes flashed an evil glance at Arwen.  
  
Tomorrow, the war would begin.

* * *

It was morning. Arwen arose and dressed. She glanced at the king, who lay still in bed. He looked so peaceful, so... innocent... and the queen dared not disturb him.  
  
So she went down for breakfast alone.  
  
It was a fine meal, but would have been finer had Aragorn woken up and shared it with her. The table held only the presence of Arwen and Eowyn, shield-maiden of Rohan.  
  
Breakfast was soon over, and Arwen decided to take a walk in the gardens. Eowyn followed.  
  
As soon as they were alone, the very envious fair-haired Eowyn confronted the elven queen.  
  
"You don't deserve him..." she muttered, growling like an angered kitten.  
  
A kitten... how amusing. Arwen walked coldly past her and replied as she left.  
  
"You're right. I do not. But he has chosen me. Only me."  
  
Eowyn growled and cut Arwen off as the elf headed towards the rose bushes.  
  
"Let him go. You know he loves me!"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You... you witch! You enchanted him with your... elf magic, didn't you? Didn't you?"  
  
Arwen chuckled and faced Eowyn. The shield maiden growled. Arwen was staring at her as she would at a kitten, at a poor, innocent, defenseless child...  
  
"He's mine," replied Arwen.  
  
"He's my own!" growled Eowyn.  
  
"He's my precious..." hissed Arwen in reply.

* * *

Aragorn rose to a clatter of swords coming from the garden. Stepping to the balcony in his room, he spotted a very messy hair and red-faced Eowyn battling a dishonorable yet very defensive Arwen.  
  
He chuckled as Eowyn approached Arwen with her sword, and even more as Arwen parried it perfectly. These women were better than the best warriors of Gondor...

* * *

"Swords are useless!" Arwen shouted, throwing hers away as Eowyn cast off her blade.  
  
"Let us settle this maturely." Eowyn stated.  
  
They sat down to play chess.  
  
"You cheated!" the ebony locked elf exclaimed.  
  
"Did not!" defended the fair shield maiden.  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
And so they settled on archery.  
  
Eowyn was failing miserably.  
  
"Ha! You'll know never to challenge an elf with the bow and arrow!" said Arwen as she shot another perfect arrow with her perfect aim.  
  
So they decided to run.  
  
Arwen ran fastest.  
  
"My kind are swift-footed!" she shouted back at Eowyn, who had fallen far behind.  
  
They agreed to horseback ride.  
  
Eowyn found herself the victor.  
  
She grinned, looking at Arwen.  
  
"Rohan is the place of steeds... a child could beat you!"  
  
And so came lunch, then dinner. Still the two women fought, quarreling over a prize one had lost already, and one had long since achieved.  
  
At length Arwen said, not blinking her eyes, "What is the use of this? Aragorn has already been crowned, and I am already his queen!"  
  
Eowyn replied bitterly, not breaking eye contact, "But I wish to prove his affections towards me!"  
  
The door opened, and two men stepped in. Still locked in their staring contest, Arwen and Eowyn did not recognize the intruders upon their battle.  
  
Some one cleared their throat, and both women blinked.  
  
"Ha!" cried Eowyn triumphantly. "I win!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" shouted Arwen. "You lose!"  
  
"What? You blinked first!"  
  
"No, shield-maiden," spat Arwen, "You did!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"LADIES!" one of the men shouted above their voices.  
  
Two heads whirled around to face Aragorn. Behind him stood Faramir, son of Denethor. The Steward's son seemed nervous, out of place in the vast chamber.  
  
"Now, that's much better, isn't it?" Said Aragorn in a much lighter tone. "Stop your quarreling please, and tell me the reason for a day's war?"  
  
Arwen stood and approached him. Stroking his arm lovingly, she replied, "This wench, the shield maiden, has decided to 'prove' your affections towards her... Estel, we battled for right to your love."  
  
The king of Gondor laughed then, and embraced Arwen warmly. Letting her go gently, he said, "It would be, perhaps a better match... Eowyn and me. But my love lies in Arwen..."  
  
Eowyn lowered her head in embarrassment, guilt, and rejection.  
  
Faramir approached the maiden, and wrapped his arms about her.  
  
"_I_ love you." He said softly, causing her to look up and stare into the depths of his eyes.  
  
"And I you..." she muttered in reply.

* * *

That night, Aragorn and Arwen shared yet another beautiful sunset before the vast city of Gondor. They knew Eowyn and Faramir were enjoying the same dusk from the fields of Rohan, and were happy.  
  
"Estel..." whispered Arwen to gain his attention.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Aragorn smiled slightly, the joy of this perfect moment reflecting in his eyes. He brought her face up to his ever so gently, and caressed her cheek slightly with his thumb.  
  
He pressed his lips to hers, lightly at first, but growing into a deep, passionate kiss. When at last he pulled back, Aragorn repeated Arwen's words with the same deep passion and love coursing through them.  
  
"I love you..."

* * *

-sniff- not much of a comedy... but then again, I'm terrible at humour. But I like the story anyway. What do you think? Review!!! 


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